The Only Truth I Know

Please visit my 25 photo picks from 2005 HALFWAYHOME

I rediscovered the Discovery Channel this week and watched this series (Going Tribal or something) where a particularly annoying British guy travels around the world corrupting the lives of indigenous people while trying for a week to live as they do. 
The other day he visited a tribe in West Africa to experience their rite of manhood -- being force-fed a vomitous hallucinogenic root that causes one to feel all the pains and damages one has done to others in one's lifetime.  It is no small wonder it has never caught on as a recreational drug in developed countries.
Imagine seeking to truly experience
one's darkest self.

Today I had my own empathetic hallucinations of sorts, induced by massive amounts of caffeine and nicotine. In a fit of solitude I got in touch with how it must feel to be hurt and damaged by me.  May I never experience what it is to be frustrated with, disappointed in, afraid of or pissed off at me.

A year later in pictures and still I  retrace my own lost steps. 
At least now
I see the patterns. 
I don't know what I want for dinner, yet alone what I want out of life.  I know well what I dread
what I regret
but know nothing of what I long for.
It is in here somewhere I imagine,
under the smoke and anger. 

I know there must have been a time when New Year's Eve for me was not a festival of shame, but even then at best I was just misinformed.

Thank God for beauty, the only truth I know.

Please visit this site where I have posted the images from the year that I find most beautiful and healing.   I want very much to share them with each of you.   If anything seems my ongoing purpose it would be to see.

 

Just a little over a year and a week ago I bought a camera and fuddled with it new out of the box.  Today its paint has been worn off in spots
by my fingers, it has been with me
almost everywhere I've been
and my soul would be lost
wandering in circles with me,
but instead she is calling me home.